Cold Shower for Managers

“Blaming someone else for your misfortunes is a sign that you need some training.
Once you blame yourself, then your training has begun.
When you stop blaming yourself and others, then your training is complete.”
 Epictetus

If you have any recurring problem in your team, it means only one thing. It means that you are the problem. This is it. This is also the effect of a cold shower. At first, it is painful and stressful. After a while, it becomes relaxing. The real and metaphorical cold shower has a lot of benefits:

 - improve blood circulation;
 - decrease stress;
 - create a good mood;
 - improve the immune system;
 - make you a better manager;

Not a single problem in your team can exist chronically without your “help". For example, you may think that you have people who are not proactive enough and shy away from taking on additional responsibilities. But there is only one reason for this, and it is not related to the people themselves. It is related only to the manager of these people, i.e. with you.

 You, as a team manager, are also running away from responsibility. Your team is your mirror. If you want to change something in the mirror's image, you need to change the image that is standing in front of the mirror. Only then the reflection will change. Many managers try in vain to change the reflection without changing the original image. It is impossible. Both physically and metaphysically.

 Let's look at the example above with people who are not proactive and autonomous enough. There are a few reasons how you “help” this problem to exist. For example:

 - you set goals with a broad brush and when the results appear not as expected, you blur out “I didn't imagine it that way";
 - you blame others of not understanding you correctly while you have not explained thoroughly;
 - you confuse accountability with throwing people under the bus;
 - you confuse being supportive with micromanaging people;
 - delegate in the format “step by step" (“do this", “check that", “call him", etc.);
 - you take every success for granted and you rarely acknowledge your people for a job well done;
 - you hyperbolize minor mistakes and place them on the wall of shame;
 - you confuse sarcasm towards others with a sense of humor.

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